it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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