Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize