I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
