Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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