3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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