she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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