I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
