You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
