I'm laying in your front yard are you home
your room smells of hookers.
And success
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
