census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize