How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
