I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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