Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
