there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
