The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
