i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize