Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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