Moan for me like Helen Keller
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
