I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
