There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
