i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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