How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
