Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
