i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
