just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
