haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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