Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
