HIV tests are more positive than that guy
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
