the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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