she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
