google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
