she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
