You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
