my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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