i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
