with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
