So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
