toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Randomize
