would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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