you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
