I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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