if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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