Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
