Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
