Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
