i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
