We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
