I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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