tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
