yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
