he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
