I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
