i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
