Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ttyl tear gas
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
