I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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