He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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