You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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