dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
do nipples grow back?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
