So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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