Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
