I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
