Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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