If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
