Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
